Chronic Illnesses and Dating – Holly’s Bird Nest
Dating is not always easy, trying to find a potential match, but when you have a chronic illness it can be even more difficult because you never know how someone is going to react. Not all illnesses are visible and that can make it even harder to explain.
Deciding when to disclose your illness to a potential romantic connection is entirely up to you but consider telling them about it at the beginning of your interaction. It can be difficult to open up about something so personal to a stranger you don’t know and trust, but it can also help you to weed out people who aren’t worth your time. If someone isn’t going to accept all of you and love you the way you are, that person isn’t worth dating.
If you are anxious about discussing your illness with a potential date, why not use technology to your advantage? Tell them about it over an email, text message or phone call.
People’s first reaction when they find out about your illness may be shock or discomfort, so allowing them time to unpack that information before you sit down for a date can help you both decide if moving forward is right. Plus, by the time you meet up, they’ll have had a chance to let it settle and come up with meaningful questions they have about your illness and how it affects your life.
Being upfront is scary, but it’s an incredibly helpful dating tool to help you out and play up your best assets! If your illness has caused some weight loss or weight gain, go shopping for an outfit that fits great and highlights your favorite body parts. Experiencing hair loss? Try a cool hat or an updo. Figure out what you love most about yourself and play up those areas while minimizing the things that make you feel self-conscious. Confidence looks hot on everyone.
People are going to follow your lead when it comes to your illness. The more relaxed you act about it, the better they will feel about it. If you are sad about it, they will feel sad about it. Lead by example and don’t walk around holding up a sign that says you’re a victim. You’ve got to love yourself before anyone else can love you–with or without a chronic illness.
Things aren’t always going to go as planned, so adaptability is key to avoiding some of the frustrations of dating with a chronic illness. You might have just spent hours getting ready for a date and then realize you need a nap. That’s okay. Sometimes your significant other may want to do something your body won’t let you do. It’s going to be frustrating at first, even embarrassing.
But once you and your partner learn that plans will sometimes change, you’ll see that it doesn’t need to affect your relationship negatively.
We tend to have it hard-wired into our brains how a date should look, but quality time can be spent in many ways. Do something outside, enjoy the arts, see a movie and pack your snacks from home. Who cares if your dating life looks a little different than it does in romantic comedies you see in the movies?
Life happens and the more willing you are to adapt, the better you can love and be loved.
No one can control a chronic illness, that’s why it’s chronic, but we can control how we react to the situations that having a chronic illness may put us in, and finding that right person who can accept you, without trying to cure you can be a positive and caring relationship for you both.
My favorite saying ” If you love yourself, you will never go a day without love!”
